February 1, 2004:
Voters:Last week's winner was "Close the shades. When it's sunny out, there's too much pressure to be happy." - Mr. Connolly.
Remember to vote! It's not only your civic duty, it's a lot of fun. More fun than whatever else you're doing right now. Go to QOTW's sensational website at www.qotw.net to see how to vote (and to explore our vast libraries of catalogued quotes).
Ever thought that 10 quotes a week is too few? Sign up for the Honorable Mentions e-mail to virtually double your QOTW ration! Simply e-mail qotw@qotw.net with the following request: "Forgive my tardiness in requesting Honorable Mentions, and sign me up immediately."
This week's NOMINEES:
"Drop out of this race and stop embarassing mine!" - Donna, on Al
Sharpton's presidential campaign. Donna and Al are both black.
"Tell your dad to comb his hair or something. It's like a bunch of
spiders just having a meeting on his head." - Rob Finnerty, to Ryan Lawlor
"Why don't you take me on a date to Wendy's? I've always dreamed about a guy who'd take me to Wendy's. You know, considering I'm a vegetarian and all." - Rachel Garopy
"I prefer pit-ful dates. Pitted dates are pitiful. I pity the fool who eats pitiful pitted dates." - Roz, on the difference between dates with
pits and dates without
"He got shot four times. That's almost as much as 50 Cent." - Teddy
Ansbacher-Hunt, on retired General Wesley Clark
"Reiki for everyone: Why our civilization died, or the explanation of the Apocalypse, Egyptian Book of the Dead, and the Kabbala (for children)." - Cover of a popular book in an Odessa bookstore
"That way nobody's living in sin." - Ruthie the lab scientist, on noting the date that breeding mice are paired off as their "wedding date"
"Well, sweetie, they're probably having more fun than you'll ever have." - A freshman's mom, when he told her about some kids at his bus stop who looked stoned
"Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." - Jude
"Everyone here is in the mafia. Everyone except me. That's why I'm still poor." - Masha's father, on the Odessa mafia
Voting closes at 5:00 on Friday. QOTW thanks you for your loyal patronage. QOTW also wishes the best to the New England Patriots in today's Super Bowl. (Yes, so QOTW has a geographical bias when it comes to professional sports. Take it up with our legal department if you wish.)
-Ben "snappy and sassy, not snippy and sissy" Orlin
February 1, 2004: Honorable Mentions
"My dad got me some pants at Express! Fifteen dollars, marked down from fifty! He goes on little mall safaris. This is like killing a big game animal for him." - Roz"You'll only really enjoy Dickens after you turn eighty." - Masha's father
"Hatred always breeds attachment." - Dan, from Odessa
"This would never have happened if your father hadn't bought that haggis." - Helen Palmer
"This is the best book, because it's the easiest." - Someone at the library
"You can be Captain Kirk and blow up a little red sphere." - Jeff, on a computer program he's designing
"And he came after James VI..." - Someone at the library, pronouncing "VI" like "vee-eye"
It's sort of a weak batch of Honorable Mentions, I'll admit, so here are some bonus quotes, taken from www.qotw.net (they're all quotes from Julian; I always liked his quotes best):
"Bathroom trip! It's like a road trip, only to the bathroom!" - Julian
"You know what they say: sleep is just the party that you do lying down." - Julian
"Quick, Josh, throw me the plane before Roz gets it and reverse engineers it!" - Julian, on a paper airplane
-QOTW Management
