January 12, 2003:
Voters:After two of the worst weeks in recent memory, it looks like people have started saying funny things again.
A quick review of the voting process (please read even if you've voted before, because some people (namely, John and Micheline) continue to flaut the voting process): I provide you with two lists, the Honorable Mentions and the Nominees. The Honorable Mentions are for your own enjoyment, and can't be voted for. The nominees, however, you rank in order of preference (please rank all nominees), and then email your list back to me. I tally the votes and choose a winner using the Instant Runoff Voting System, because it eliminates ties, and thus I never have to act as a tie-breaker.
By the way, congratulations to Roz and Bess last week for voting in the order that the quotes actually ranked. The winner was Jennie the Winchesterite for her quote of, "Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking."
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"Europe has problems with the rest of the world." -Alex George
"I wonder if I could go for the record for non sequitirs." -Julian Hyde
"It's the girliest reaction ever!" -Hillary FG, on a chemistry lab that produced a purple product
"It never says he's a person. He's a lawyer." -Julian, on the character of Jaggers in 'Great Expectations'
"It's not sci-fi, it's theo-fi." -Alex George, on Dante's 'The Inferno'
"It's not procrastination, it's time management." -Jeff Kaufman
"I'd like to see your face, believe it or not." -Ms. Walker, to Julian
"Tell me what you think and I'll tell you why it's wrong." -Mr. Sherry, to Bassil
NOMINEES:
"The sophomore class is a den of debauchery." -Julian Hyde
"If you ever see me talking to you, it's probably my identical twin. Identical--but evil." -Jack the Train Conductor
"This is probably just me being Catholic and pretentious, and I'm not even Catholic." -Joanna Rifkin, on part of her story
"BMWs are guy cars, because they know how to spell it." -Ben Miller
"You just want to look like your pencil case. Hmm, I guess that wasn't much of a crushing blow, was it?" -Mr. Davis, trying to insult Dewey
"I'll be upstairs in my Life Drawing class. If you need anything, don't come up, because there's a naked man in there." -Larry Geffin
"Let's get drunk and scalp Dewey." -Roswell Thomas
Voting ends at precisely 11:59 on Sunday the 12th of January 2003, although if you manage to get your vote to me before I check my email on Monday, I'll let it slide.
You can still obtain a complete list of all of 2002's honorable mentions, nominees, and winners by emailing me a request for a copy (either a hard copy the next time I see you, or as a Microsoft Word attachment).
IF YOU WISH TO BE REMOVED FROM THIS EMAIL LIST, SEND ME AN EMAIL TELLING ME SO.
-Ben "Three at a time is better than two at a time" Orlin
