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December 15, 2002:

Voters,

For those of you who haven't heard yet, last week's winner was Julian (congratulations, Julian!), for his quote of "We've come up with a new euphemism for death: taking the midnight train to Ipswich." This was his unprecedented fourth victory. However, there was some difficulty with the voting last week: four different quotes tied at two votes each, and I was forced to break the tie. I cannot allow this to happen again. Therefore, I'm instituting an instant run-off voting system. Now you list your quotes in order of preference. In case you've forgotten the rules and criteria for choosing the quotes, make up your own (rules and criteria, that is, not your own quotes). Just make sure the subject of your email is "Quote of the Week, Sunday December 15" and the body contains the nominees listed in order of preference.

Now, here are this week's honorable mentions (for which you cannot vote):
"I'm against lying." -Josh, outlining his presidential platform
"The book could've been called 'Grand Delusions'." -Ms. Bluestein, on Great Expectations
"He is not one of the pieces of equipment." -Mr. Wharton, on Pfau
"I think the ducks should just suck it up." -Julian, on ducks' feet getting cold
"Teddy's not here, so we're going to have problems coming up with really bad jokes." -Ms. Jackman
"This is a slutty walk sign." -Roz
"Most sex is free if you're not paying." -Micheline
And now, the nominees:
"There is something very ironic about the two girls in here knowing more about the playboy mansion than the guys." -Alex
"Roz, I have no urge to sexually stimulate you." -Josh
"Only at Commonwealth to boys feel sexually threatened by girls." -Roz
"They're only shooting up heroin; it's okay." -Ms. Jackman
"Wait, having friends [is a drug risk]?" -Cyrus
"If snot runs free, why not we?" -Mr. Davis
"In the study hall of life, Jesus is the proctor." -Poulod

-Ben "Aar" "Deion" "Borlin" "Small Little Friar" "Frederick" "Several Other Names That I Forget" Orlin

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