April 18, 2004:
Welcome to this week's fabulous edition of ... Quote of the Week!Now, some of you may be inclined to point out that this email is a little on the, how shall we say, late side. Well to those people I say, "Poo to you, because you are meanies!!" The fact of the matter is, I have spent much of the past 36 hours in the throes of a bad English paper, History paper, and head cold. But I rose from my sickbed and worktable for YOU, my humble flock, to enlighten you and cheer you from the doldrums brought on by your own English papers. So be nice to me, or I'll give you my cold.
Last week's winner seemed to be Becca with her charming line, "And the Kate Alper tact parade marches on!" Second prize goes to Kate for being a good sport (and for getting almost as many votes, but who cares about stuff like that!), and an honorable mention (hey! have YOU signed up for Hon Mens yet? If not, just reply to this delightful missive with, "Yes, God yes, I cannot live another week without Honorable Mentions!!") goes to Ben Orlin. He would have won if he'd been limited to ONE quote ...
And now, the nominees! If you for some reason do not understand how to vote for them, please visit http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html for help.
"My headphones are Masha-they shut out the world." - Anonymous
"It's perfect-a house in Italy with lots of food and sex. The sensual tour package!" - Anonymous Commonwealth Ceramics teacher
"The English Dept. will kill me-'you let her read a book ABOUT the book?!'" - Mr. Wharton
"I am not a geeky boy. I'm a geeky man!" - Mr. Phillips
"I'm sorry. In the future, I'll share my imaginary drugs with you." - Alex George
"Mr. Wharton is good with a bow."
"Like Artemis?"
"No. Not at all like Artemis." - Mr. Davis and his 7th period English 11 class
"Was Marx a communist?" - Ben Copans
"Well, time flies when you're having diphtheria, but I must be off." - Will de Smit
"You want to be the one standing there on the beach, looking out over the ocean, but it is boring and you need to pee." - Isaac
"Well, my ego is bigger than yours." -Alice Kaufman, making a snappy comeback
And now, I must leave you ... Remember, if you do not vote, the bears will eat you. Seriously. Where do you think I got those wierd scars?
Until we meet again,
I am,
Joanna "stick insects" Rifkin
April 18, 2004: Honorable Mentions
Honorable MentionsAnother batch of fresh Honorable Mentions, to delight all the little boys and girls and, er, all the rest of you.
"I'm about to give you a hint about how to make your life less miserable, which is the adverse of what I usually do, which is to try and make your life more miserable, so take this chance and run with it." - Mr. Young
"Did you just ask to please my paper?" - Micheline
"Just imagine [the yoyos] are Oompa Loompas with ropes tied around their necks." Mr. Phillips
"Grapefruits come in sections?" - Kate
"My ribs are so beautiful!" - Eric "Sausage Boy" Hanss, misreading French
"Imagine I am a flower. A pretty little flower." - Mr. Hodgkins
"There isn't a dwarf named Smacky, is there?" - Miller
"Opera is over-rated. It's all over-emoting, large Teutonic women." - Mr. Young
"Of course, it would've been different if Hamlet forgot himself WITH Laertes ." Anonymous Junior
"[The word 'ingens' is Vergil's] maid of all work, cook, slut, and butler." - Classicist Henry, on Vergil
"Superman sperm-that stuff scares me!" - Ms. Nulty
Joanna "I don't smoke Latin" Rifkin
