November 23, 2003:
All hail QOTW and HM members! QOTW and HM members, all hail! When are people gonna learn that there are few things more dangerous than giving me power?Well, you brought this on yourself. Or perhaps Orlin brought it on you.
Yeah, lynch Orlin.
Certainly it was very...interesting to be Quoter during play week. Things are just so much funnier when you haven't slept in five days!
Oh, shut up and get on with the quotes.
No, must entertain with inane banter.
No one could find this remotely entertaining, so shut up.
But -- but --
Shut up and save face before I make you declaim more Latin.
No! Anything but that!
Um ... We're all gonna pretend that all didn't happen... Without further ado, QOTW November 23 2003.
Last week's winner was Ben Orlin with his fabulous Dayenu quote, "Have you ever wondered why your people were oppressed for 2,000 years? This is why."
And here are the nominees. If you don't remember how to vote, you are clearly of substandard mental abilities and therefore incapable of comprehending the sophisticated humor of QOTW. For therapy, go to http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html.
OK! Nominiminees! Yay!
"That is the great lesson of the 1790s: fighting for the rights of man can be sexy." - Mr. Young
"We're just going to hope we get lucky. Who would have thought that in math class it might happen?" - Mr. Sherry
"So the boys grow up and join the army and the girls become mommies and stay at home. I get society now!" - Mariah, while observing the toys stocked by FAO Schwartz
"We could be Hell's Mermaids." - Roz, proposing a name for a Commonwealth biker gang
"If I undo that ribbon, will your head fall off?" - Andrea Lam, on Morgan Rappaport's choice of neck adornment
"Mind you, there are lots of people that don't exist." - Helen Palmer (Joanna's mother)
"Crepes are not a building material, Jeff!" - Alex George
"Ooh, I'm a man. I'm a manly man. Who's your daddy?" - Dewey
"Quibbly kumquat conundrum." - Becca on (or in?) Latin
"Oh, so you're talking about the good kind of racism!" - Josh
And nota bene (that's Latin! Mm, Latin ...), we have bumper crop of utterly bizarre Honorable Mentions this week, so if you don't get them...
Well, now's the time to start! Um ... Yeah.
Until next I wrestle the reigns of power from the hands of one of the other tyrants... Yours in perpetuum...
Joanna "divinely uninspired" Rifkin
November 23, 2003: Honorable Mentions
Howdy, all.What a week it's been! Oh boy. Okay... If you didn't come to the play I call down the fire of the gods upon your sneakers.
Um. This is, as usual, the list of all the things that I thought were funny and no one else did, or weren't really funny but seemed it at the time, or seemed otherwise unfit for voter consumption.
The last time I tried to write interesting Quoter preamble I got into a fight with my subconscious classicist who threatened me with Latin... I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead.
Honor them! For they are Honorable.
"A bad Pericles joke is better than no Pericles joke at all." - Mr. Young
"I'm a librarian vampire. What better place to attack people than the reference section? I hide the bodies behind the dictionaries." - Emily Hall
"That's why so many people were poor--it was too confusing for it to be worth it to figure it out." - Orlin, on the old British monetary system
"I wonder which sees more lapsitting--Santa, or the Commonwealth couch?" - Orlin
"Do not think. Thinking is dangerous." - Mr. Riahi
"Anyway. Not St. Pete. The bad guy. Who's he?" - Larry Geffin, trying to remember whom he sold his soul to.
"I could Trojan Horse your ass." - James Palmer
"I usually get a lot of sleep, and when I don't, I feel like my own science experiment." - Rhett
"Sarcasm is fun. It's our way of dancing around the truth." - Sarah Schofield
"What generation ARE you?" - Ms. Nulty
"Are you an alien?" - Charles Merrill, on Grace Wilson
"Your dancing could be construed as a weapon." - Mr. Young
"I suspect my predecessor is sitting in a rubber room somewhere." - Mr. Young, on teaching US History
"Does [the blood and sweat of the proletariat, which according to Max Cohen greases the wheels of industry] also retard rust?" - Mr. Sherry
"[Trampoline-bouncing] is just as good as church!" - Priscilla
"The richest. The whitest. The malest." - Sol
"Get me extension cords for the hell machines!" - Susan Thompson
"This isn't old school; it's cold school." - Grace, on the school's temperature
And finally, the semi-censored conversation of the week (sorry about this!)
"That's not a friendship; that's a sexship." - Micheline on certain unnamed persons' relationship
"That's not a democracy; that's a sexocracy." - Dewey
"Dude, I want to live in a sexocracy!" - Joanna
Ever yours,
Joanna "Catholic and pretentious" Rifkin
