April 25, 2004:
Voters:Last week's winner was Mr. Phillips, who said, "I am not a geeky boy. Iam a geeky man!"
Remember to vote for your favorite quotes! Voting is guaranteed to extend your lifespan by five to ten years. And sign up for the Honorable Mentions: everyone who's anyone gets the Honorable Mentions. Even 50 Cent gets the Honorable Mentions.
How do you vote? Go to http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html. And how do you sign up for Honorable Mentions? Just send an email to this address
with the subject line "My soul thirsts for Honorable Mentions" (or some appropriate variation thereof).
This week's nominated Quotes:
"This was an age when candidates were chosen by bosses in smoke-filled rooms. To use a cliché. I don't know how much smoke there really was." -Mr. Young, on the nomination process of the late 19th century.
"I went to the school of hard knocks. And as you can tell, I am graduating summa cum laude." -Paul Cavallaro
"See, I do have impulse control; I didn't bite your arm." -Erin McCabe, to Rhett duPont
"My teenage angst feelings are so perfectly expressed through blink182's meaningful lyrics." -Norris Wong
"A sensible country. Or at least a country that has a sensible measurement system." -Alex George, on Canada
"I would suggest that after months and years of pointing to the obvious--signaling to the elephant in the middle of the living room--and turning over backwards to keep a constructive ethical tone while observing others who use guerilla warfare to score, one feels the need to stand in the middle of the road and loudly state that the proverbial king has no clothes on!" -Lydia Rivera-Abrams, in an editorial in the Winchester Star
"From now on I'm going to dedicate my life to making your life less miserable than I have made it in the past." -Joshua Rifkin, to his wife
"It was hot in those Birkenstocks, let me tell you!" -Jean, on running the marathon as part of a gang of radical lesbians
"My sleeping hours are 'at random' at this point, so any time to call is as good as any other time." -Mr. Harsanyi, giving students his home phone number
"You are THE most obnoxious child." -Ms. Bluestein, to Ben Miller, after he chuckled when she said Ms. Brewster had experience with literary critiquing and "other kinds of writing"
"You know where you are? You're in crazyville. You get there on the crazy train, after taking too many crazy pills." -Julian
The virtual voting booth closes at 5:00 pm on Friday. Special bonus recognition to anyone who can spot all six metaphors Lydia mixes in her quote.
-Quote of the Week
April 25, 2004: Honorable Mentions
This week's Honorably Mentionable Quotes:"The basic idea is to get through the material fast so we can read descriptions of rancid meat." -Mr. Young, outlining the plan for that day's history class
"The corruption's okay, but the adulterated meat is much better." -Mr. Young, on topics of historical discussion
"I'm not sure what 'reforming prostitution' means. It sounds like we're trying to make prostitution more efficient." -Mr. Young
"It's the story of how a corrupt man falls for making one honest decision. Great movie." -Mr. Young
"Rule #1: if something falls, kick it." -Mr. Young
"How many people here have voted? None. That makes sense, because you're not eighteen. Boy, that was a stupid question." -Mr. Young, to a class of juniors
"Now, there's no one who goes up to you and hands you a beer and a sausage and says 'Vote for McSweeney.'" -Mr. Young, on how the election process has changed since the beginning of the 20th century
"Let me finish by singing praise to Wisconsin, great cheese state that it is." -Mr. Young
"Grading this homework is going to be fun, because everyone did different problems. The same numbers, but different problems." -Mr. Sherry, on a math assignment that the class had difficulty with
"I trust your algebra. Well, I don't personally, but..." -Mr. Phillips, to his Physics class
"Baby toys shouldn't involve physics." -Alex George
"Prom is like a big game of dress-up, where all the girls pretend to be princesses, and the guys pretend to be attractive." -Ben Orlin
"If the sun disappeared, a whole lot of physicists would be fired." -Julian Hyde, holding scientists responsible for keeping track of celestial bodies
"Nobody EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition." -Mr. Sherry
"Labor is no fun, I can tell you that... but babies are so cute." -Mr. Harsanyi, new father
"Ben! Ben! I have an idea. An idea. In here." -Roz Thomas, pointing to his head
"You see this book [Heart of Darkness]? It looks small. But really, it's like this book and this book crushed together with tremendous gravitational forces. Heart of Darkness is the black hole of books. Not even light can escape the Heart of Darkness." -Julian Hyde, on the dense text in his class' copy of Joseph Conrad's novel
"Black holes look just like stars. Only they're black, and you can't see them, and they're not stars." -Mr. Phillips
"Mr. Phillips is incredulous. He has nothing but mocking and derision for the combination of string theory and physics." -Julian Hyde
"They had a contest [to come up with a mathematical equation to describe gravity]. The winner was going to get a book. But books were still expensive then, so it was pretty nice." -Mr. Phillips
"Joanna and I are attracting each other, because of our masses. I'm also attracting Alex, who's getting jealous." -Mr. Phillips, explaining how all masses gravitationally attract all other masses
"I feel like a caged animal. Wait, I am a caged animal. Like, literally, I live in a cage. With a hamster wheel." -Paul Cavallaro
"Ir al doctor. Pff. No sé cuando sea buena idea, pero para mi, casi nunca." -Mr. Milan (Translation: "Going to the doctor. Pff. I don't know when that's a good idea, but for me, almost never.")
"I think Jeremy's soul is so pure, it doesn't even visit him at all." -Julian Hyde
"It was big. Lots of people died. Let's have lunch." -Mr. Young, on World War I
"Swarthmore is like Commonwealth, and Haverford is like Swarthmore with straighter teeth." -Becca Thal
"It's midnight; that means it's officially tomorrow! Wait, that's wrong..." -Paul Cavallaro
"They were kind of stingy with the cream cheese, so it wasn't flowing out of all orifices of the bagel." -Johan Jaenisch, on Finagle-a-Bagel
"If you're going to be colonized and you want to have good food, make it the French." -Mr. Young
"The only rule, really, is that it not be R-rated. Or X-rated." -Ms. Grant, on selecting a film for Hancock weekend
"Hyperbolic trigonometry is like trigonometric satire." -Roz Thomas
"My teenage angst feelings are so perfectly expressed through blink182's meaningful lyrics." -Norris Wong
