March 28, 2004:
Voters, Quoters, and Other Free-Loaders:Last week--as he is wont to do--Norris Wong made history. He won the most overwhelming victory in QOTW history, earning 75% of the popular vote with his remark "I want to glaze this pot a color that is vibrant... something that makes girls say, 'How manly, yet nurturing.'" Congratulations to Norris, and here's hoping he can replicate this victory in November's general election.
In response to depressingly low voter turnout in recent weeks, QOTW is relaxing its voting requirements. If you want to vote the classy way, go to http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html and follow those instructions. But if you're a corner-cutting slacker, just reply to this email and put your favorite quote in the email body.
This week's nominated quotes:
"We're all little infinitives, are we not? And we get conjugated along the sentence of life." -Mr. Davis
"You looked deep into her eyes and you said 'no thanks' and you stole her heart." -Fiona, on a peculiar instance of "love at first sight"
"I'll major in engineering, then go to law school, then wear a suit, and after that my vision ends." -John Oliverio, mapping out his future
"It's a way to see an animal's inner beauty." -Jenny, on eating meat
"El PP es los republicanos. żLos republicanos son los malos, no?" -Jave, equating Spanish politics to American politics. (Translation: "The PP is the Republicans. The Republicans are the bad ones, right?")
"You poser. You're like the N*SYNC of slacking off. Completely commercial. Doing it for looks. Sure, all the teen girls idolize you. But you're not living it." -Roz, arguing that there's more to procrastination than meets the eye
"The nice thing about the Classic Sports Network is that Magic Johnson is never HIV positive." -Becca
"The Allman Brothers Band... were the real masters of the impromptu solo; they routinely dragged songs out fifteen or twenty minutes. And people wonder why their touring keyboardist committed suicide." -Ben Miller
"That's not a language. That's a disease." -An old Norweigan man, on Swedish
"Juliet, you're dead darling. Die." -An acting teacher at the Globe theater, to a young student
"Reading the QOTW email and not voting is like attending Commonwealth School for the sports program." -QOTW, employing a cryptic similie to try to persuade people to vote (NOTE: this is a decoy advertising quote, not one to be voted for)
Voting, as always, closes Friday at 5:00.
If you would like to be treated to extra gobs of delightful quotes, free of charge, you should sign up for Honorable Mentions by sending an email to this address with the following secret password: "Sign me up for Honorable Mentions." And if that's STILL not enough quotes for you, just start hanging out with Julian Hyde; he's usually good for a few laughs.
-Quote of the "Last Two" Week[s]
March 28, 2004: Honorable Mentions
"We use the advanced version. The basic version is for biologists, and other such people who do not understand technology." -Joel Voldman"It's a big deal, because everywhere in Spain is measured in relation to this place. But it's sort of tough to find; it looks kind of like a manhole. So it's one of those understated big deal things." -Alicia, on the geographical center of Spain, which is designated by a plaque in the ground in the middle of Madrid
"High school just sucks, though... I don't have any good memories. Or bad memories." -Ez
"Your evil Spanish twin... [he'd] wear tight pants and boxer briefs, and have a whole lot of Spanish women." -Fiona, to Orlin
"There was a typo. A typo in my soul. Now I am a hardened recluse." -Roz
"Peter Jennings is like the gossip whore of the entire world." -Roz
"I really wish pianos would just fall out of the sky; it would be so much more exciting!" -Rose Kaufman
"Que americano." -Claudia, on a slow-motion flashing-lights moment in the movie Green Mile (Translation: "How American.")
"Can you hear the avalanche of dirty laundry coming across the Atlantic?" -Roz's mom, the day Roz was going to return from the Spanish exchange trip
-QOTW Management
P.S.: All opinions expressed in the above quotes are the opinions of the quoted, not of the quoter. In other words, I think biologists are some of the smartest, most technologically savvy people around. And they're very generous graders too. (Right, Ms. Nulty?)
March 28, 2004: Quote of the Year
QOTW Members:The time has come for the second round of Quote of the Year voting. For those of you with spotty memory, here's a quick explanation: this email is a sort of a "Best of Quote of the Week", featuring twelve quotes that emerged victorious from their respective weeks. You, the voters, using normal voting procedures (see http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html) will choose the three best ones, which will advance to the Quote of the Year Championship round in June. The winner of that round will be declared the Quote of the Year, and will be the subject of our envy, admiration, praise, and monetary gifts.
The Quote of the Year Nominees:
"I am thankful for the opportunity to express my individuality with one 500-word essay and a plethora of standardized tests." -Anonymous Commonwealth Student, for the Thanksgiving Assembly
"Well, so long everyone...those stairs won't master themselves!" -Roz, fitness devotee
"I learned that mites crawl up and tights come down. Wait..." -Ms. Jackman, on the difference between stalctites and stalagmites
"The probably both thought the other was drooling, and were too polite to say anything." -Roz's Mom, after he told her Josh and Emily didn't get mad when he poured water on them
"If you're going to get the mail, wear red. It's hunting season and the neighbors might shoot you." -Karen Wolfe, Jenny's mom
"You know how it says 'Congress(TM)' nowadays? That's because Congress is a licensed subsidiary of Disney Corporation." -Julian
"Close the shades. When it's sunny out there's too much pressure to be happy." -Mr. Connolly
"Drop out of this race and stop embarrassing mine!" -Donna, on presidential candidate Al Sharpton
"Walks should be aneurisms of fun. I am so trademarking the phrase 'aneurisms of fun.'" -Julian
"If I throw you out the window, you would be flailing and everything, but your center of mass would fall nicely like a stone." -Mr. Phillips
"If you have not signed up for a museum by 2:40 today, I am taking a group to Weston to the Postal Art museum. We will look at stamps for 4 hours, then I think we'll go to Rhett's house for a 'safe party'." -Mr. Wharton, a few days before Museum Day
"I say, any school that won't take my baby should be firebombed. Harvard? Pow! Yale? Pow! Then nobody will have a degree that competes with my baby's." -Becca's mom
Voting closes Friday at 5:00 pm.
And remember to check out the Quote of the Week website at www.qotw.net! Not only is it a miracle in modern web design, but it might even have your name and some of your finest moments of wisdom, up there for all the world to see.
-Quote of the Year
