November 3, 2003:
Dear Ladies, Gentleman, and assorted members of QOTW,In recent days, you may have wondered to yourself, "Where is my QOTW e-mail?" That, dear sirs and madams and Jeff, is an excellent question, and unfortunately, a question that is not going to be answered due to the objections of a certain nation security assiocation. But, suffice to say, it involved a lemur, a lamp post, and the nation of Liechtenstein.
Now, down to business. Last weeks winner was Matt Kraning with the gem of brilliance "Remember, relationships that are formed on the couch, die on the couch" to Alex. Lets all give him a round of applause.
A Public Service Announcement: Submit your quotes at the QOTW website (www.qotw.net, in case you've forgotten)! Are you going to trust those lazy, corrupt quoters to collect the thousands of brilliant things you and your friends say? No way! Only by submitting quotes can we truly come together and make this community work. On that note, the management would like to thank Daniel Carlyon, without whom I probably wouldn't have enough quotes.
And now, enough of my blathering, onto the quotes, for today only in extra scary Hallowe'en colors*:
"You can't spell 'Zhou Dynasty' without 'O, nasty!'" - Daniel Carlyon
"I've always regard Hemingway as a male chauvinist pig, but now that I've beholden his texts, I see him as a Cuban missile crisis waiting to happen." - Miller
"Jeff, you do know that me threatening to kill you is a sign of love." - Alex
"Julian, your mouth scares me." - Joanna
"God needs to wash his mouth out with soap." - Becky, on Miller
"Imagine you're a tomato." - Jeff
"Patriotism is out of tune." - Roz
"I didn't remember to remember Ancient History." - Kate
"But two wrongs make a right!" -Graham, trying to prove a mathematical theory (he was serious)
"There are many reasons why Arnold Scharzennager won, and we'll tell you when you're older." - Orlin to Josh
If you've been stricken with a memory plague, you can learn how to vote at http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html. Don't let anybody say that we at QOTW Inc. don't care. And remember, sign up for the Honorable Mentions, because they're having more fun than you are. Voting ends at 5:00 PM on Friday.
-Julian "Too egotistic to use an old quote, not creative enough to think up a new quote on demand" Hyde
*Quotes are not actually scarier than normal. Or in color. Or different at all from normal. In fact, that statement was a lie.
November 3, 2003: Honorable Mentions
Dear Honorable Mentions People,I used up all of my wit for the day on the QOTW e-mail, so you just get quotes.
"Hey, look at us, the three sexy girls with big pumpkins!" - Joanna
"Half the population of the Earth is 'out of this world'?" - Jeff to Josh
"Denial is something you need to accept." - Alex to Jeff
"This has all the makings of human sacrifice. Where's Jeff?" - Alex
"Chivalry is Josh." - Joanna
"Why did Masha get laid?" - Becca, on why Masha got the lead
"A choking hazard is as close are you're going to get to 'The Aeneid.'" - Roz
"This side of me is in the shape of Jeff's backside." - Roz
"This chair has a pillow. Sexy." - Dewey
"If you tip over this inkwell, you'll be in a world of blue." - a woman to Roz
"Mariah, you should be our flag." - Josh
"Tinkerbell doesn't have a wand. She has wings, but wings are forty dollars." - Rhea, a wingless Tinkerbell
"I don't know what you know about infallibilty, but I know it means I makes the grammar." - Miller, on his being God in a game of Mafia
"God is dirty." - Becky, referring to Miller
"I think I'm watching 'The Godfather'--wait, no--it's 'Little House on the Prairie." - Dewey
"There's a fine line between Shakespearean English and a lisp." - Orlin
"Look! Something that's not us walking away!" - A friend of Pete, a friend of Daniel Carlyon, a friend of Joanna - Daniel Carlyon
"Yes, I'm dating that bobbing mop of blond hair over there." - Becca T., on Joanna & Alex
"Maybe because it's named Mt. Olympus." - Someone I know named Nick, suggesting a reason for Mt. Olympus being the site of the gods in Greek mythology
"'P' means loud!" - A friend of Daniel Carlyon named Pete, being obscure
And now, conversation fun!
"Let's all go around the table and say something nice about Grace." - Max C.
"Can we pick someone else?" - Rhett
"I thought it was Norman." - someone Daniel Carlyon knows named Brian, on Odysseus calling himself 'Noman' in the Cyclops part of "The Odyssey"
"I read it was Nobody." - Someone Daniel Carylon knows named Nick, in response to Brian's quote
All right, people, that's it. Nothing more to see here. Move along, folks, push her back there, move along, folks, let him breath, step lively. Go back to your homes.
-Julian "Amateur Secret Master" Hyde
