April 6, 2003:
Voters:Last week's winner: "Ipswich is a lot more like 'It's a Wonderful Life' than anyone expected. I'm just not in the cast." -Roz, involuntary Ipswich resident
How to Vote: take the nominees listed below, and list as many of them as you wish from favorite to least favorite. Please list only the nominees' names, not the entire quote, distinguishing between two quotes from the same person with parenthetical statements like "Orlin (insanity)."
And now, THE NOMINEES:
"Ugh, God, my mom is singing to the cats again." -Fiona
"Miller! I had a dream last night I had to borrow your leather jacket to impersonate the Virgin Mary." -Joanna
"Take away the c." -Jason, on the Boston Red Sox' strategy of 'closer by committee', after an opening day ninth-inning loss
"Make research, not war- nerds for peace" -Protestor's sign on the Boston Common
"It's three skyscrapers huddled together because they feel awkward around short people." -Roz, on downtown Los Angeles
"We're going to start talking about the church again, which is always good for a few laughs." -Ms. Grant, in Medieval History class
"Can you get a tan without UV [light or lotion]?" -Kate, on the trigonometric equation tan(u + v) = [tan(u) + tan(v)] / [1 - tan(u) * tan(v)]
"I think that we are sitting on a land mine... wait, no, a gold mine." -Julian, on the proposed 'Ghosts with Guns' franchise, specifically the spin-off 'Banshees with Nunchucks'
"Sorry! I can't talk right. I'm being robed [sic] by strange people!" -Fifth Grader Carlie's away message on AOL Instant Messenger
Voting closes at 5:00 on Tuesday afternoon. As usual, a list of Honorable Mentions is available upon request.
-Ben "better cut me, 'cause I'm bleeding brilliance" Orlin
P.S: thanks to Julian for the signature.
