December 7, 2003:
Hello loyal QOTWers!Being that QOTW is one of the few things for which I will drag myself, bleary-eyed, from bed on Sunday mornings, I promised myself I would get it out on time. Maybe even early! And now here I am -- it's well past eleven, and I have passed solidly into the realm of delinquency. But I'm sure you're all out tromping through the snowdrifts anyway; I will maintain that this delay is entirely the fault of the snow emergency. (Doesn't "snow emergency" sound better than "incompetence emergency"? Yeah, I thought so too.) But enough! To business...
First, congratulations to an anonymous Commonwealth student, wherever he or she may be, on the winning quote "I am thankful for the opportunity to express my individuality with one 500-word essay and a plethora of standardized tests," which was read at the Thanksgiving assembly. Congratulations also to Johan, whose quote did not win but did prove that his witty repertoire extends far beyond yogurt.
Second, I urge you--end voter apathy! If you're already getting the e-mail, you might as well vote, yes? If you don't know how, go to http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html...or you could just follow Jeff's fine example, and put Micheline in 0th place every week. Lastly, it is my duty to tell you how cool you will be if you sign up for Honorable Mentions. So sign up already.
And now, the quotes...
"That is a toxic building. It's like architectural pornography." - Dr. Ary Goldberger, on a particularly cinderblocky building
"I think the 'gallery of pleasures' consists mainly of lemon water." - Ben Orlin, on the squash club
"It's an example of what Marx would've called 'false consciousness,' and conservatives call 'common sense.'" - Mr. Harsanyi
"Submit to Litmag; it's just a grain of sand in the desert of your sin." - Julian
"I don't know...it sounds like those men are shouting at me. And I don't like the feeling that I'm being reprimanded for buying their album." - Daniel's friend Seth, commenting on a song
"Hey, I've got a vibration in my pants...from my mother." - Sam Slavin (his cell phone was on "vibrate" mode)
"You're better looking, and I can't smell you from here." - Mr. Davis, comparing Josh Krieger to a Faulkner character
"Well, so long everyone...those stairs won't master themselves!" - Roz, fitness devotee
"I like applying political theory to naked men." - Dewey
"The message is basically: we're really rich, we're really happy about it, good luck." - Ms. Folkman, on Christmas card form letters
- Becca "it's a vicious battle between me and factoring, and it will only end when one of us lies battered and bloody on the floor of room 2A" Thal
December 7, 2003: Honorable Mentions
Okay, here they are...the Honorable Mentions!"What was his name again? Eh, we can call him Joe Ibn Schmoe." - Ms. Grant, Medieval History teacher
"Chicago is on the north coast." - Joanna Packer
"What do I care for puny-ass things such as bells when whe are discussing something as grand and all-encompassing as the great wilderness of Missouri?" - Mr. Davis
"This is Bird Matte, as opposed to Matt Kraning, into which you do not want to dip your pots." - Jean, introducing a new glaze
"They don't need representation; just taxation." - Jeremy, on the junior class
"They're ALL our Bens! Except Copans." - Alex
"That's one of my significant others. He also gets into places he doesn't belong." - Dr. Ary Goldberger, on his poodle
"I drink cats." - Farrar Cooper, future axe murderer
"Whenever I see a cow, I have the sudden urge to chase after it and sink my teeth into it." - Jenny Oberholtzer
"Look, Ma! I'm eating poncy European style!" - Andrea Lam
"Thanksgiving was terrible, Jennie? Last year your house burned down!" - Ms. Jackman
"She's like one of those cuddly children's TV show characters who has to end up learning her lesson." - Roz, on Jenny Oberholtzer, who finds all babies ugly
"Stuff blowing up and people dying, that's no fun. Stuff blowing up and causing property damage--now that you can enjoy!" - Julian
"Soy un fascista! Quiero comer vuestros derechos!" - Max & Becca's Spanish project (translation: "I am a fascist! I want to eat your rights!")
"Thanksgiving: the holiday that keeps on giving...and giving...for about two weeks afterward." - Becky, on leftovers
"No, it's the Australians who have problems with [British sovereignty]...but then, they're all ex-cons." - Ms. Jackman
"And they were playing this noodling New Age music..." - Ms. Folkman, on the place where she got a massage
That is all.
- Becca "I just like the idea of 'noodle' as a verb" Thal
