September 7, 2003:
Voters:QOTW emails on consecutive days! You can thank your lucky stars. But you'd be better served thanking the people quoted here; chances are they're a lot wittier than your lucky stars.
This is the first official email of Quote of the Week Season 3! Yay!
If you've forgotten how to vote, go check yesterday's email.
And now, the NOMINEES:
"You know 'The Man' who won't give us jobs and is holding us down? That's Joanna." -Donna
"Many of the classes are solely to keep people from getting drunk on the streets and breaking things." -Bassil, on Arlington High School
"I'm not a Ph.D. like Mr. Racioppi. I can't tap-dance molecular genetics up and down the street." -Ms. Nulty, on her Biology knowledge
"The debate team doesn't make people evil. People who are evil join the debate team." -Mr. Young
"There are some things man was not meant to know, and 'The Spacious Firmament on High' is one of them." -Julian, on the official Commonwealth School song, which nobody seems to know
"Auntie Em! Auntie Em! There's a cornfield! Let's have a civilization!" -Mr. Young, on early agriculture and the birth of civilization
"I love propaganda. It's so wholesome." -Bess
"A Ph.D. to pick up trash." -Ms. Bluestein, on having to clean up after the juniors
"I drool over boats like some men drool over women! I mean, you can find a decent looking woman to take out in a boat; the hard part is finding a good looking boat." -Matt, a bald sailor
"By the end of this class, you should be able to understand why a human body... well, that's morbid." -Mr. Phillips, in the first Physics class of the year, informing his students what they'll know by the last day of class
Voting ends Friday at 5:00 pm.
-Ben "four-syllable last names are not conducive to summer romance" Orlin
September 7, 2003: Honorable Mentions
This week's Honorable Mentions:"[There are] three things I want you to think about. Teachers start off by saying there's three things, then they figure out what they are." -Mr. Young, on the first day of U.S. History
"Anorexic, maybe, but not bulimic. I haven't thrown up since I was ten." -Joanna, on her eating habits
"I haven't thrown up since I last saw Byun-Hung Kim pitch against the Yankees." -Miller, in response to Joanna
"St. Augustine said, 'Give me the patience to accept what I cannot change.' Augustine was a dweeb." -Joanna's father
"Freak out. Go buy me some pastries. Whatever." -Ms. Nulty, on how to use periods in which Biology class has been cancelled
"Kids would always ask about things like the Salem Witch Trials... or minor things like the American Constitution." -Mr. Young, on teaching U.S. History
"They say it on Fox. Why can't I say it here?" -Mr. Phillips, on the word "bitch"
"Lady, that transfer is four months old, and those things are good for two hours." -MBTA Bus driver, telling a poor old lady that she couldn't get on the bus with an April bus transfer
"Are you kidding? We're from WOOSTAH. We brought our guns." -Kacey, sailing coach from Worcester, in response to the question "Did you bring your pliers?" when somebody needed a hole punched in a boat
"I don't wanna talk about God, I wanna talk about drugs." -Some kid at Sunday School
"I don't think the last year's textbook showed enough of the positive accomplishments of the Democratic American tradition... if you want to call it that." -Mr. Young
"She has muscles I haven't even heard of. She's the Michael Vick of dogs." -Ry, on his dog Lela. (Michael Vick is an incredibly athletic football player.)
"Whatever. I think they're all named Shirley and Bob, and they've changed their names to protect their identities." -Roz's mom, after mispronouncing the names of Microcenter service people such as "Aleyah", "Mamadou", and "Nikolai"
"I always get all excited when I get my schedule. Now I'll embarrass myself with my 'schedule dance.' You don't have a schedule dance? Well, you can make one. And then we can dance and make fools of ourselves. Just like any other day." -Micheline, to me, on the possibility of not getting our class schedules until the first day of school
"It's always good to start off the year with Cannibalism." -Mr. Young
"I wrote one. It was about regret. It wasn't very happy." -Alex, on eighth grade graduation speeches
-QOTW Management
